You can easily overwhelm me, I think it is part of being a highly sensitive person, and also the EDS too. I remember going to the Tate years ago and watching an installation that was highly visually and aurally stimulating and I had to leave after watching it. I couldn’t look at anything, only the white floors, it felt like just one more thing would make my head explode.
I’m glad that I don’t live in that heightened sense everyday, it would be utterly exhausting and leave me wrung out all the time.
As it is I feel like I am prone to your whims, a girl walking past wearing DKNY Delicious thrusts me back to an ex and a specific time in my past. Freshly baked bread gets me yearning to eat it again and as for music… Well that can easily reduce me to tears, or pretty much get me as high as a kite without taking drugs. I can shift into a trance mediative state just through the right music.
The sight of a lot of blood, hearing about someone’s operation or injury, or even the smell of medical things, well that can cause extreme reactions from vomiting, sweating and shaking through to passing out.
Like I said. I am at your mercy.
And yet this hypersensitivity means I can be attuned to the world, to its beauty and power. I love being in nature, hearing the birdsong, the wind in the trees and looking for the tiny details and changes in the places that I go to day after day. Photography and poetry help me to experience this in greater detail, they allow me to shift my focus and really appreciate what is there.
The feel of a good quality scarf, jumper or blanket can make my whole day and when I tune in to how it feels against my skin it gives me a small wave of pleasure. Stroking my dog or husband’s furry belly makes me feel part of my little family, grounded and secure.
I wouldn’t change how sensitive I am to your senses, even though you can overwhelm me to the point you have a physical and mental affect on me, this is both a positive and a negative, but honestly, the positive wins out.
This is part of the April Love Letters project.